Somehow my daughter Maya is 8 months old which is mindblowing!

And in the time that I’ve had her, I realize that I went into the baby bubble and I’ve been there ever since.

As I’m starting to come up for air, I realize that I haven’t shared a lot about my birth and pregnancy and as a doula I feel compelled to share some of the moments that are highlights for me and some lessons I’ve gotten from being Maya’s mama for the past 8 months.

Being pregnant felt like such a wild time because I was so calm, confident and believed that everything would turn out how it was meant to. When I decided that I was going to do a home birth, I didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with too many people because I wanted to focus on my birth and not other people’s thoughts or opinions about my decision to have Maya at home.

But knowing that Black people who give birth are 3-4x more likely to die in childbirth motivated me to find a midwife that did home births.

I didn’t want to question if I could handle birth based off of someone else’s experience, so instead I only was willing to listen to positive birth experiences and focused on what I wanted my birth experience to be like.

I kept Maya’s estimated due date close to the vest and only shared it with my medical team for the same reason I didn’t share that I was having a home birth. I wanted to keep my sanity and not have people checking up on me too often to see if I went into labor yet, even though I knew it would be with the best of intentions.

My experience as a doula has taught me that when people share their exact due date or the exact moment that labor begins it can lead to stress because everyone is excited, checking up on you and wanting to know what is happening.

But first time pregnancy usually runs past the estimated due date so I accepted that it was highly likely I’d go past Maya’s guess date which is what I’ve started calling “due dates.” Babies arrive when they’re ready!

So to anyone who felt like I was shady in pregnancy and leading up to birth, I hear you and I have no regrets. Labor wasn’t spent checking phones and it was so helpful.

Leading up to labor, I wanted to have several notes to encourage me to keep going in labor. And truthfully, I was so tired during the end of pregnancy, that I only had the energy to write one. It was my mantra throughout labor. “My body is built for labor.” My husband, midwives, doula and birth photographer all encouraged me with that phrase and it got me through.

Labor was intense but I had such a great support system. It felt like I was observing my body from above. It was such an out of body experience. Time went by quicker than I realized but I also had no real concept of time in the moment. When Maya made her debut in the world it was honestly love at first sight. I didn’t know it was a feeling I would ever experience, but I’ve been in love ever since.

When Maya was born it felt like I came out of her birth with so many lessons. I realized that I’m capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. I was proud of my trust in myself and also grateful that everything went smoothly. It reinvigorated my desire to help others realize that they have the ability to control the things that are actually within their control during labor.

Which is exactly what inspired my newest offering The Mindful Birth Planner. If you are pregnant or looking to become pregnant, the Mindful Birth Planner allows you to receive a birth plan that advocates for your own preferences, brings awareness to the process and ALL your options, and have a safe place to feel seen, heard and co create with your partner on HOW to have the best birth possible.

Check out more details about The Mindful Birth Planner on the Doula Services page and set up a free Mindful Birth Planner intro call!

What questions do you have about pregnancy, birth and postpartum?

Images by Madison Swann